~~Me. That should tell you enough.

~~Samo. This guy will eat your wedding cake without asking and then beg you to forgive him. His Points are his stamina, determination, and being able to make even the most compassionate human being fell like punching him in the back is okay.

~~Nik. Through racist comment-related complications, he will be unable to participate in religious events or political campaigns. He'd buy 50 knives from you then sell them to orphans at six times the price, and use the profits to put a hit on you. Well, some of the profits--the rest would feed his classiness addiction. He's quite possibly the classiest, most distinguished man ever to live or be imagined.

~~Brian Song. He'll kill you and your family without even thinking twice. The one person I know who puts people in incredible amounts of pain out of boredom, and he's well respected for it. Samo's life would be so uneventful and so pain-free without him. Ever seen "Iron Monkey"? This guy's the imperial minister and both iron monkeys rolled into one, times 4 and a half.

~~Clay. Its not the things he's done that make this man. It's the boundaries he has broken, and the ones he's about to break. A man of very few scruples, I've seen him drink his own liquid mass in Dr. Pepper, and I've heard more. If you are an attractive female, it's advised that you stay 150 feet away from him. Unattractive, 75 feet.

~~Ben. Very classy. Moooo'vin on up in the sneakiness ranks as well. Theivin', sneakin', combination sneak/thievin', its all good. If you had to be stabbed by somebody, make sure he's not in the top 5 or 10. Oh, that reminds me. Don't get stabbed by Brian Song.

~~David. If an orange could walk and talk, it would be an excellent roomate or mentor for David. He could tear your arms off if you let him, but he'll freak out and start panicking if he did. He likes his women short and his pants even shorter. In conclusion, David is a man of mixed feelings.

~~Dan. He'd eat your face with a spork and come back for seconds. You won't mind, you'll be dead. By far, the most concentrated mass of muscles, vitamin C, and digestive juices. A large knowledge of John Lovitz wisecracks make this man the most respected man in the greater Irvine area.

~~Alex. SMAAAAAAASSSH!!!!! We have good reason to believe that he is the Moth Man. Also an Inter-Phylum hussie, if you will.

~~Deaf Josh. Despite his name, this guy is actually deaf. He's got Determination and courage in the face of any monster, spectre, supernatural or mythological being that can be hurled at him like a common softball. Scared to death of softballs, though.

~~Andre. Three words. Ay. Ay. Ay. His forhead has been registered as a deadly weapon in Brazil, Florida, California, New Hampshire, Kentucky, Illinois, Wyoming, The U.S. Virgin Islands, Oregon, Nevada, Nebraska, South Carolina, Texas, Idaho, Georgia, Maine, New York, Wisconsin, Michigin, New Mexico, and West Virginia.

~~Kyle. Three letters. They're all K's.